The things I wish you knew but I’ll never tell.

 

Well, this is something new.  The moment we’ve clicked there was a little ray of hope that came flushing all throughout my system. I thought I had gotten pass through the chasing game. I thought I have proven myself worthy to be chased of this time. Because it was always me who’ve done the chasing time after time. I sometimes think to myself that I have been so desperate to have someone I never had. Jeez I really sound needy. But  from the very moment you came walking on my doorstep, everything in my little world turned upside down.

 

It is hard to believe to settle with the idea that the very person I secretly and unconsciously like is the very person who’d waltz in to my life by surprise. The very light chitchats we have when you’re still together with my friend was the only interaction we ever had. Period. Nothing more. You’re remotely available to anyone around you because you focus on the only world you thought you own at that time. She was your world and everything in you is her. And i’d always get this unexplainable pang of jealousy surfacing on the brim and i don’t even know why. You were the guy every girl would be lucky to have. You’re the guy who’d make a girl the happiest in this world full of contemporary crap and bull.

 

I couldn’t explain why I even like you in the first place. Is it because I like the fact of how smart you are? How gentleman you are? How kind and nice you are? Everything in you is so much to be appreciated and you don’t even know that parcel of truth. You forgot to love and look out for yourself. And everything you have, you have devoted it to the person who failed to choose you after all this time. You see? When you were left with a collateral damage on your sleeves, you could barely put your crappy pieces back together. You’ve poured everything out and you’ve squeeze every human of you till nothing is left there for you to juice. I knew that I like you even the first time we met. I have to admit, it was your scars that made you beautiful and lovable.

 

Things happen so fast like papers flipping against each other swaying as the wind brings each of it on the floor. I really felt sorry for you when the love of your life failed to choose you over an ex lover. The sympathy i felt was real and sincere. But I know deep down, I was sinfully happy that she let go of you. Why am I happy for that? I don’t want the idea but I think I am slowly being eaten and consumed with the ecstatic excitement when you were left alone, broken and unpatched. It was my perfect timing to make an attempt to fix you. It was my shining and glorious moment though. Day after day and week after week, to my surprise you came for my aid and companion. My intention was pure- to be there for you as a friend and nothing more. But things happened so fast and fate decided to bitch around our feelings and never noticed how slowly I needed you and how I absolutely like you now. I hate admitting to you my feelings and I hate it more if I’d profess the way how I see you to my friends.  It seems like the natural order of life would be disrupted in a chain reaction because of the single grain of stupidity and recklessness I possess.

 

I feel happy, worried and awkward all the same time when we talk, when we text and when we interact virtually. I can feel a drilling hole in my gut whenever you work on with your flattery and all. You were shooting unclear signals that you kinda like me somehow. And because of that I feel pretty for quite a while. You confessed how you like me not as a friend. And it was pretty quick and shocking. I was afraid to reciprocate. I never expected that to happen overnight. I just find it odd. I knew that if I’d open my gates for you, things between us and around us wouldn’t be that peachy easy and everyone we know might get their foreheads wrinkled and creased. There will be a lot of speculations and dagger eyes on the way. And of course, I can’t afford to cross my friend. My friend who you love so much, so dearly I break when you try to bring her up.

 

I revved up and started to make myself better, to look a little presentable and to do better in school a little more than what’s expected. And that is all because of you. I was a better person now because I helped someone with a broken wing to heal and see life in a different light now. I kept denying that I like you too. I kept pushing you away because that was the only way we could make things normal. I never expected that this will be as complicated as ever. And the hardest part of being in my place is that I was the one who’s carrying the leverage and the weight of everything to maintain a balance on the center point. So keeping you away from me was the most convenient way I ever have although it breaks me not to have an interaction with you once more. I chose to keep my mouth shut and act like a bitch to make everything around us fine. I was thinking too that if I keep pushing you farther away, you’d chase after me over and over again. You’d poke me in the back and annoy me all you can till you’d get me caught off guard. Try as might to be rigid and placid to you but you easily gave up. I started to doubt your feelings towards me. I am under the impression that you haven’t gotten over her. You still can’t and you still won’t no matter how painful it is and no matter how hard you try. And that’s because the pain, perennial as it may be had never gotten away. And you have it all over your system. You feel it as it is to breathe air for day to day survival. I then started to think that I was the only available, close to liking to the basic standard- but could not really compete with the original.

 

I was the patch up buddy. I was the needle and thread to your ripped off hem on your shirt and I have to sew you together to help you have your feet on the ground once more. I was the band-aid to kiss your wounds goodbye and mend your bullet holes nice and neat. You were deeply in love with her until now. And I hate to admit that I have fallen from your prey. You dug the hole deep and I never wanted it to be dug in the first place, but I guess you already had. I despise entertaining the idea that indeed I am, is in the prospect of falling for you. Falling for the conventional. This is to the one who came chasing after me for the first time, who decided to give up on me. I wanted you to fight for me, to win me but even the most patient people have their limits too. I know that eventually you’ll never pull the trigger. I understand. And I’ll always be.

 

 

 

An Ordinary Life — The Gloria Sirens

To be happy, I need to hold on to the thought that I am ordinary. It sounds wrong, I know, when everything tells us to be extraordinary, when everything we aspire to do seems so hard only extraordinary people could do it. But a great deal of my suffering comes from the thought that I…

via An Ordinary Life — The Gloria Sirens

The consolation price: “Let’s just be friends, shall we?” The Friend Zone game going strong

I know that I don’t own you,

And perhaps I never will,

So my anger when you’re with her,

I have no right to feel

 

I know that you don’t owe me

And I shouldn’t ask for more

I shouldn’t feel so let down

All the times when you don’t call

 

What I feel- I shouldn’t show you

So when you’re around I won’t,

I know, I’ve no right to feel it

But it doesn’t mean I don’t.

-Lang Leav, Just Friends

Have you ever felt like your stomach could be a sanctuary of butterflies at large whenever you see your crush nearby? Or perhaps you feel a strong jolt of lightning admiration to a friend of yours who you have known and loved for a very long time but so afraid to confess what you feel?  Or more like, you met a stranger and it’s the gravity that was pulling you together to be simply acquainted. Love. It’s an interesting topic to talk about. We feel really happy, giddy, coward, stupid and most of the time vulnerable when we deal about it. Even the wisest man of his age can make an unwise decision when it comes to love. Of course, one can’t say that they never had loved someone or something before. Love is just this magical nexus of people to people.

They say, a long-lasting relationship blooms when two people started off as friends rather than complete strangers to one another. It would be a strong foundation on reassuring if that person could be a potential candidate for the search of your “the one”. It is always the baby steps. Then a bond of two people forms a friendship- the only known type of ship where something new might begin or something that had already been there might end. Tricky sometimes.

You know, it is never easy to keep your emotions intact so as not to look elated and easy when he’s around.  Surely, it is a tough job to save your romantic feelings from breaking free when you’re on the verge at it. It is quite a challenge to stay nonchalant when you know that at any rate, you’ll flush and blush when the person you like teases you, flirts with you or when he looks at you charmingly in the eye. The fleeting reaction of your heart and the ongoing melt down you feel when he agrees and laughs with your dumb jokes is insuperable.  You feel so much happier with this kind of situation- someone you like, likes you back.  Somehow, a flicker of hope to finally be in a romantic relationship is running on your mind down to your spines. It’s hard to tell.

But too bad you’re too late. It’s like yesterday, you were madly in love with the person and the next day, you still feel exactly the same way but the day after the other day, and you realized that he’s throwing blatant signals in the air but you’re too in love to even notice it. He’s very casual with you, he doesn’t even try to impress you with something, he replies late on your chats/texts, most of the time, his replies are amazingly shorter than ever, he’s settled with the “hahahas” and a smiley just to be polite, he rarely hangs out with you alone, and he asks you for love advices and the worst part? He asks you to do him a favor to set him up on a date with the other girl he likes. Wing-girl problems still on check!  And the last thing you’d know? He’ll ditch you all of the sudden and starts to ignore you, now you can mourn over the “seenzone” diversion.

Someone else out there had given him the real score already. You’re too late to discover that everything was a trap and you can’t seem to escape.  You’re too slow to realize that in the process you were having assumptions which led you to expect something.  Then there you realized that, the person whom you thought might have given you a room of affection has been playing the “I am just being nice to you slash you’re more like a sister to me” game all along. It’s time to figure out the difference between “girlfriend” and “girl friend”. There is this absolute tiny space in between and that is what we call the “friend zone.” Girls get friend-zoned too. And it hurts them as much as it hurts you. And that’s when you know why he is rebuffing your pabebe advances. That’s how you know where you stand. Now we scream and raise the red flag “welcome to the friend zone club”.

Maybe, some of us have gone through the “friend zone” perimeter. Whether we like it or not, I mean we don’t really like the dire feeling of being the “just friend”, but we got to face it, the “only on the surface feeling” is something your heart would be dreading for. There is no way of shielding yourself from the frank truth of how clueless he has been of how much you are hurting. It would squeeze everything you have, until you feel hollow, fragile and numb. It would kill the best of you. And the only thing you want to do is to curl like a ball and cry your heart out.

It might be agonizing to stomach the idea that one falls in love but the other wanted nothing more but pure friendship. But this is real. This happens in the existent world. This could even happen to anyone. Maybe that person who made you feel invincible and magical for a while had been just nice to you all this time because he likes you as a friend. Maybe he likes to laugh at your jokes because he thinks that you’re cool, nice and very friendly. He probably thought that you are too nice to him so being just pals and nothing more is almost certainly for the best. Your fairy-tale like fantasy will now be short-lived. Sorry.

The danger of getting afflicted of being the “just friend” will haunt you every now and then. Why? Simple logic.  It’s like you, wishing to eat a double deck cheeseburger with fries and sundae after a very long exam where you sacrificed sleep just to ace it. But you end up eating a buy 1 take 1 burger, where there’s more bun but few palaman, minus the fancy seats and the aircon feels. You expect so much in return of your hardwork , you exerted tons of effort but all you got at the end of the day is just a predicament of a collateral damage.

Sad truth is, when we feel being treated nicely compared to other people, it fuels our cognition to assume that they want to reciprocate the feeling. And when we assume, we expect. But when our expectations don’t meet, we end up getting emotionally impaired. Now you feel that you are not being remunerated with your investment. It’s like joining hundreds of contest but you didn’t get the chance to win. It’s like you’re deprived from the opportunity to prove yourself. So in the end, you receive the consolation price of “we’re better off being friends” because you were not that good enough. Every so often it sucks to play dumb on someone you know you have little chances with but you are so overwhelmed with the idea of “what ifs” so you go for it, you pursue.

It hurts right? It felt like the Dementors from Harry Potter series come to life and suck up all your hope and happiness. Leaving you feel like you can no longer be cheerful again. But listen, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. YOU WILL NOT BE DOOMED FOR LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN FRIEND ZONED. OKAY? Try not to think of it as a punishment but rather, an opportunity to think not just twice about falling in love with the right person but 10 times to make sure if it is all worth a shot. Heartbreaks are never easy to take. But it will help you to be stronger, better and made all the wiser.

Perhaps, being friend zoned will help you narrow down your choices as to finding for the right person. It would definitely hurt to be turned down of course, but nothing hurts more when you settled for the one you thought you really loved but you end up waking in the morning regretting for choosing someone hastily. Because life is about deciding and choosing; you can’t lose what you never had, but you can’t keep what is not yours, and you can’t hold on to something that does not want to stay. You’ve got to weigh in everything so we can call it quits. So whether you’re being friendzoned or not, it is always worth a try. At least, you’ve pluck the courage to explore other people. I can’t assure you that we’ll live in a world where people won’t hurt our feelings. It has always been like that. Nevertheless, this fact should not obstruct you from moving forward each day. Because, the more you move positively, the lesser you’ll find being “just the friend” disconcerting. Finding someone for you might not be as hard as you’ve thought it would be. Mind you, the right one is just there in the corner. You don’t know. Maybe finding that someone would not require you to be a globe-trotter. Maybe you just have to open your eyes and you’d be surprised to find him on nooks and crannies. And remember, being friendzoned will not make you less of a person. It only goes to show that you are capable of looking for a better tomorrow despite going through a series of sudden change and rejections. Bear in mind that you cannot simply force someone to like you instantly. It takes time for a friendship to grow. The friend zone might be the thing you are upsetting about before, but here’s something new, it’s not now anymore! It’s never too late to feel collywobbles on your system once again. Just try and try and never let the prospect of being bitter to take control of yourself, to take control of how much you should love.

Kadima folks!

 

Solo ride is the new name for Independence

 

Traveling is like falling in love. You go out on a limb.

 

 

I finally did the thing I once thought I couldn’t do. I pulled my nerves together, dug my inner strength and for the first time, I let go of my fears and hesitations rooted from my ridiculous capacity to overthink. Traveling alone hundreds of kilometers away from my comfort zone was one of the most bloodcurdling idea that ever crossed my mind. But it certainly was the most liberating experience that changed my perspective on the world and myself. I thought I wouldn’t survive the bus ride alone and those passengers were looking at me intrigued by how I initiated something a bit of a kamikaze all by myself. And I figured that we wouldn’t know what’s outside the box if we never even try to unbox the unknown. So, I decided to go solo and went to unfamiliar places by the southern part of Cebu hoping to find adventure right under my nose. It was a spur of a moment, an impromptu roadtrip and I never really prepared much.
I initially had the urge to go to Kawasan Falls but I was alone and I couldn’t take the risk to lose my kidneys plus I just opted for a day trip. Going back to Cebu safely was second on my prio list. Under unpredictable circumstances, I had a detour and stopped at Moalboal instead. At first, I was disappointed because I have not reached my preconceived destination.

I explored Moalboal Seaside Park and surprisingly it wasn’t bad for I enjoyed the serenity of the place. It was a beautiful spot where you can meditate life and have your thoughts wander into your deepest desires. I wanted to see more and let the spirit of exploration take my feet but I was running after my time table. It was a trial and error scenario for me then. Though I enjoyed talking with the locals and learned to appreciate their individuality and simplicity.

The bus ride itself was a taste of freedom and a concrete way of deeply knowing myself more. I allowed my eyes to journey. It was a quick visit for most of my time was spent travelling but I took every ounce of opportunity for me to appreciate the beauty of touring to different places even if I was comfortably seated on my seat.
I tell you, a day trip is not enough. But it is the idea of finally letting go of your fears, going out from the fuss in the city and trying something novel is what really matters. Baby steps wouldn’t hurt so take it slow, tame your dragons and allow yourself to break free.

By the time I arrived home, I froze in place, transfixed with what I had done for one whole day alone. I am proud of what I had become and I hope I ignited the hearts of those who crave to search their souls in places they’ve never been before. It was a beautiful experience. To more places to go alone and adventures with myself. My life has officially begun.

An open letter to my future self

Dear Kayla,

Hooray! We’re almost there. You’re going to graduate soon. I am so happy you’ve come this far- Far enough to take a deep breath and sit for a little moment to let everything sink in. You would probably think that this must be a joke because it seems too good to be true. You’re counting days and weeks and poof. You’re finally taking a leap of faith to end something really good and to start something scary, more exigent yet something to help you grow as a person. You’re dealing with what’s real and celebrate it! You have done a lot of great things these past years no matter how little they may be in your own ways. I would like to congratulate you for having a very unforgettable college experience. I know it means the whole world to you. Technically, your world revolves around one thing thou- school. But isn’t it fulfilling when you’d get your diploma and finish your studies without making any romantic commitment to a person? Without giving out heartaches and without having to acquire one for yourself? I admire you so much for being brave and independent despite the pressure fogging your soul that’s been convincing you to go and find a guy who would love you. I am glad that you’ve come this point in life even if you would always have your heart longing for the missing piece that left a huge hollow inside you exactly four years ago. Yeah history sucks but it helps a lot. And just because you like someone but he obviously sees you as a friend doesn’t mean that your world is going to shatter into pieces. Take your mishaps as your inspiration and something you would look behind if you’re having a lot troubles in the present. The good thing is that when you’d get out the four walls of your school, you won’t be leaving any trace of regret and double takes.

I thanked God for making you believe that you could be pretty at some point. You obviously don’t have a face straight out from a magazine and the perfect quintessential of beauty but I am grateful that you were made like this no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that you will never be attractive as anyone else because no one has ever shown solid and enduring interest on you. You sound pathetic and desperate but you don’t really care anymore. If someone was made for you, he’ll come. I know it will take a vast amount of patience but I just wanted you to translate your dreams into reality as of the moment and enjoy life as a single individual who doesn’t need any guy to complete her life and to fix her in a heartbeat. Only you who can fix you. Be independent and discover the abysmal mystery of the universe with an open heart and mind. Remember, you don’t have to be cold and bitter because you’ll end up growing old alone if you’d do that. Also, be open to possibilities. Don’t chase love, let it come to you because it will definitely waltz in your life when you least expect it. I am not telling you to be illogically picky, having standards is good because you deserve someone better but don’t go to the limit wherein you’d fantasize your romantic other half over books and movies and tv series because you’ll never find one in this perfectly imperfect world. Go get a good job with a decent pay, improvise, dance, sing, be like Selena Gomez or Emma Watson one time, be pretty and feel confident. Just because you’re broken doesn’t mean that you have to stay broken. Move on and love life even if it gives you hell sometimes.

College is indeed the best 4 school years you’ve had for two decades. It’s been a tough challenge to balance and prioritize which is which because at the end of the day, you’d be making sacrifices, sometimes you’d ought to lose your nerves and patience. But you are tougher because you were able to fight for your life, for your survival, and you’ve surpassed each one of it no matter how it went. Kayla, I wrote this because I want you to remember that the true purpose of life is basically how you deal with every struggle that you face every day. The depth of the lessons you acquire is based on how much you learn from the mistakes and experiences you went through in the different walks of life. Not everything you want is what you get. Sometimes, you’d realize that everything you ever wanted was just right in front of you all along and you’ll laugh about it because you never gave a glimpse on that particularly. What I really want you to know is that you’ve got to live your life to the fullest extent because you never know when you are going to wake up with fresh air, having to start your day with a hot cup of coffee and with brand new ideas steaming on your nutshell. Make every day your best day. Remember that when you feel really upset, and having an awful day, never assume it as a curse in your life but as a challenge bestowed upon you because you are known to be capable of slaying your internal and external dragons in life. I am proud to tell you that you stepped out of your comfort zone, even though you were too afraid of rejections and getting hurt because you expect one way or another. But you braved the impossible to try, you took risks and you never missed any chances when it’s given to you upfront. That is so mature of you. I am very proud of you Kayla! You truly are leading to the adult path where you realize so many things and you take opportunities seriously but with a hint of fun. Perfect the art of smiling; your cheeks are your best assets! Allow yourself to feel stupid and crazy and young even if you’re not anymore, fly with your invisible yet strong colorful wings, breathe, let the wind drag you to wonderland, read till your eyes ache and till your imagination bring you to the deepest and darkest corners of the milky way, and laugh a lot more than often. Love yourself and always respect yourself. Don’t give everything away; reserve something that you deserve more than anyone else in this world. When life gives you pennies, turn it into dimes. This is not the conclusion of everything. This is just the beginning of something fresh and something about blue skies. You’re in the middle of starting over.

 

 

 

Always,

Yourself

The real score for schnook Joes

I like her. But I don’t know how to get her.  I don’t have what it takes. She’s out of my league. And yes, I am torpe!

The girl you’ve been dying to go out with walked pass by you, greeted you “hi” and flashed her most bewitching smile you have ever seen in your whole life. Your eyes fixed on her, jaw dropped, ears turned red. Then your heart made a skid and a funny somersault with a matching thump, thump, thump! Dit, dit, dit! Every organ of your body starts to tingle and you felt like you want to throw your arms around her and hug her tightly, never let her go and just wished that she could be yours.

Holding hands, sharing spaghetti meatballs for dinner, ice cream walk going home. Then there’s a moment of silence. The girl you like just confessed that she had a crush on you even before. You tried not to smile but ended up smiling so wide, your face almost popped. Everything falls into place that you’d begin to say “So this is what happy looks like” sometimes, you wanted to freeze the moment and live with it for the rest of your life. Feeling how it is to be young and in love high school style over again. But Ennnnkkkkk! your alarm clock beeped then you realized that someone’s playing Nelly’s “Only Just A Dream” . Bummer.

 

Are you sick of being trapped in your dreams and fantasy all these years? Too afraid to tell her what you want? This I tell you, you can’t just live with your fantasy forever. You’ve got to skim to the surface of reality. It is time to make a breakthrough man. You don’t want for sure to grow old hating yourself for not plucking the courage to ditch your waiting-for-a-second-hand-pick-me-up game. Oh wait, maybe something is holding you back. Something in your mind is saying that you can’t pull off a suit and tie on a date.  Or perhaps, you’d think that you might screw your chance. Everything you’d ever dreamed of on a romantic perspective might be shattered into pieces. This is you fearing the feeling of being rejected. But don’t you think it is worth a shot? Remember, the more you try, the more chances of winning.

Go talk to the girl you like. Say “hi” first, heaven knows, she’s waiting for the same thing. I don’t think that you’d want to spend your whole life pining for the girl that you like but you just don’t have had your nerves pulled together. Go out on a limb and start doing things differently your way.  You’re a guy, you’d probably want to say or maybe sing “Wendy run away with me, I know it sounds crazy, don’t you see what you do to me” Don’t wait for happiness to come. Go hunt it!

Girls are like a book half unread; there is so much to learn from them. They can be unpredictable because they gun down mixed signals everywhere. Blame that to their unhinged mood swings. But I am here to help you get through all with this! Well, brace yourselves for I give you a checklist of what girls like and don’t like about guys. So grab your pens and papers and prepare to scribble down these fun facts and you’re good to go to get that girl.

QUICK READ: Research has shown that a man’s physical attractiveness is unassumingly a positive indication of how he usually goes on a date (Berscheid and others, 1971).  This must be a pogi points to good-looking men. Nevertheless, a study of Fletcher (2004) has revealed that women would prefer warm and homey guys rather than the ones who got the looks but is as cold as ice. Furthermore, good news to all guys, a woman sees a man in every angle. She sees the whole of you. It means, a woman finds a man who is honest, kind, dependable and has a sense of humor to be more attractive. Personality outweighs everything.  After all, it is something more than what meets the eye.

1. The Chivalry Code: The Winner Cryptogram

A guy who dresses finely would definitely sweep women off to their edges. But a guy who opens a door for a woman automatically is something more than the default definition of what is physically attractive. Nothing is more attractive if a guy is humble and gentle and has the Prince William of Wales’s persona. Nothing beats courteousness. After all, as what a famous quote says “a gentleman is not defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit. He is defined by his manners and the content of his character”.   In spite of everything, being a gentleman wherever and whenever will always outweigh a million dollar knockout looks. I mean, being a gentleman is good as having six-packed abs. And it is a matter of choice. Bear in mind, a man is chivalrous when he knows that his actions carry more weight than any other words spoken. Don’t let the Chivalry Code die. Keep it burning!

2. Funny Joe never goes out of style

Got some funny bone right there? Don’t hide them on your closet, show them off! Being the funny guy is actually cool. A girl would definitely prefer to be with a guy who tickles her with so much laughter; to the point that having her stomach hurt from laughing is better than having her mouth shut and dried with boredom all day.  It would eventually narrow down to the saying that “People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life”. You don’t have to be conventionally hot and handsome to deserve a pretty girl. Girls amusingly have different and odd standards on guys. So, why don’t you kick it up a notch and let your inner comedian take over the stage. You’ll get a real score here man! Real score.

3.Talk nerdy to me

When guys take education seriously, it would make them look five times more attractive. If you think that you belong to the smartypants department, then you might just score the “how-to-get-the-girl game” fair and square. A perfectly toned body will certainly get the ladies’ attention but they would love it better when you impress them with trivial information and loads of “do you knows…”  Girls would enjoy seeing guys talk about space, galaxy, Star Wars, Big Bang theory, Nebula and other science or math stuffs. Girls would like to learn something. It is nice to talk something out of this world once in a while.

4. Peter Griffin is the Family Guy

Ladies would definitely fall for guys who value family more over his girlfriend or anything in this world. It means that, when men are so attached to their family, it shows that they are not only capable of producing testosterone but also capable of fostering care and protection to their love ones. Family-oriented blokes will always have a soft spot when it comes to family. It also means that guys who care are guys worth keeping.

 

5. NO CAR

This has been a subject of pun on the internet few months ago – The “NO CAR” phenomenon. The thing became a trend especially when guys wanted to date girls but just can’t because of the “NO CAR” issue. Well, at some light, it could bruise a guy’s ego but seriously girls should hate or not like guys who have NO CAR.  Like who wouldn’t? NO CAR stands for Nagger, Obsessive, Conceited And Reckless. It would irritate a woman to find a guy so naggy and bossy. Girls don’t like it when guys become so obsessive with them. The obsession might go out of hand so it is a NO NO for girls. A man who only thinks of himself and cares only for what he believes is true is a minus point. Lastly, girls wouldn’t like guys who are kamikaze-the ones who doesn’t show proper concern about the possible consequences of the action taken. NO CAR means NO chance.

6. Torque and Torpe

Sometimes, even a physically attractive man who is confident in his other aspects in life can be branded as torpe; and when it comes to a girl that is a total turn-off. Surprisingly, some girls like it when the guy is torpe. For them, it is cute in a sense that a guy is hesitant to talk to a girl even if it wouldn’t hurt him.  Well, some girls despise it so much because at some point, they are only waiting for the go signal. Men are stereotyped to do the first move when it comes to flirting and dating and even screwing up.  But being ma torpe is what makes a guy lose his chances of getting the girl. Being torpe will slow him down. It would just amplify his longing and will loosen his grips of holding on. Maybe being torpe is what would make guys hold back. Maybe it has become a burden. Maybe, it is time for you guys to vaporize your boiling feelings on the inside.

7. Be a bag of wind and that’s how you lose the girl

There are loads of reasons why girls are discouraged with guys. But the most common motive is how men start their engine of pure bragging. Men who have a hot air balloon of pride are never in.  Shows offs can be simplified as slick gits or complete idiots. By bragging something to someone, you might find yourself trapped in a sticky situation, most likely you’d be breaking some bones and nose. Having a fit on someone just to prove something about your masculinity is honestly, not being a man. It is an act of immaturity. Not all things can be extrapolated with breaking tissues. Boasting is never a good factor. So girl tip to guy: NEVER BE A BAG OF WIND, that’s never cool.

8. MUSCLES

Women love muscles you know. Those chunks of biceps and triceps are naturally beguiling. So, if you don’t have these. Go workout. Kidding aside, just because you don’t have that superhero physique, it doesn’t mean you don’t stand a chance. Girls like Guys with MUSCLES. As in guys who are Mature, Understanding, Selfless, Caring, Loving, and Excellent Supporter. I am pretty sure that this is, comprehendible, but guys who can be a man, can be mature in any way. And you can truly say that a man is mature when he knows how to understand, when he doesn’t only think for his welfare but for others as well, the one who checks his girl all the time, the one who loves without a blink of doubt, the one who is ready, rain or shine, to support his love ones all through the way. That is what I call, real MUSCLES. And real men, have MUSCLES, may it be literally meant or not.

9. Always a tone of Surprise

Girls like it when you give them surprises. For them, it is a gesture of how much you care and love them. When being surprised, you feel special, loved and remembered. It really counts to throw some surprises to the person that means to you. Now, you don’t have to spend a lot of money just to make your surprise dates extraordinary. It doesn’t have to be so grand and fancy. All you need is a dash of creativity and a sprinkle of effort. That would make your plan more special because it is something that has been really thought of.  It wouldn’t hurt to have a secret rendezvous. It could be an on the spot road trips, picnics on a park, midnight drives, stargazing, dinner for two on your makeshift restaurant right in your Mustang (or whatever car you have), just let your inventiveness detonate on your system, don’t let the call of desperation to spend too much money underestimate how you think creatively!

10. ERT (Effort, Respect, Time)

When mass is multiplied by acceleration, we get force. But for a guy to win a girl’s heart he has to exert force and by exerting force he has to solve for the ERT. The Effort, Respect and Time would crack the problem with bravado. Who doesn’t want to be the reason why someone works so hard just to give you what you want? That’s effort. It would take different, sometimes desperate measures when you try to impress someone, when you try to show them that you really like them.  Effort is always the key why girls would fall for guys. The longer the guy endures, the more the girl is likely drawn for attraction. It is the action that matters more than words being spoken so nicely but actually meant nothing at the end of the day. Also, be the guy who respects not only girls but those people worthy to be given due respect. And most importantly, don’t forget to give some space for time. Give the girl enough time to think about you for a while. Don’t be the Naggy Shaggy to her. It takes time, so it means it takes patience to either make you or break you.  It is okay not to necessarily bring the moon to the girl but just give her Effort, Respect and Time, mind you; the girl might give you the sweet yes.

 

11. PRETTY

 

They say pretty guys, always get the girl. No. Not always, not necessarily. It depends on the situation. Well, “tisoy or mestizo” guys might have the edge of winning a girl’s heart but that would be so unfair. I mean, we are equal on some ways. Even if the guy isn’t “tisoy” or the beyond-the-perimeter-handsome, he still has the winning power to triumph a good fight. Being pretty doesn’t always mean nice, gorgeous, eye-catching and other related synonyms. Pretty, could be something more; something great and sensible than what is abovementioned. You could be the kind of PRETTY who is Protective, Responsible, Easy going, Thoughtful, Tactful and the Yin to her Yang. It would be so special for girls to find guys who are PRETTY. A guy who can protect a girl like she’s a bomb that has to be taken precautions to and be safely protected is so perfect 10. A guy who takes responsible to his actions and knows how to take things seriously, someone who is easy to be with especially on rough times, someone who shows concern for the needs or feelings of other people, someone who is careful enough not to offend or upset others and most especially, a guy is completely PRETTY if he completes his girl in any other aspects- when he could be the vice to her versa, the apple to her pie, the butter on her jelly, and the Mc to her Flurry.

 

Now you see, for you to impress a girl, personality will always be a factor. Always and will be. So, if you feel like going to approach the girl you like, collect your courage and give it a good shot. Well, you’ve got nothing to lose. Instead, you will gain lessons and realizations. Just do it like you really mean, do it with a heart. Be the guy who is “I want you for worse or for better” in a world full of “Ikaw ra jud akong forever” –wa gabai

 

Seriously single since the 21st century

Hi! I’m a typical teenager with no boyfriend ever since the world began. Seriously. I’ve been single all throughout my whole existence. I’ve been even wondering whether having no boyfriend this whole period of my life is a good thing or something to be ashamed of. Perhaps, something to be insecure of. I am not really sure if I am going to figure out that question though.  Every friend I have, are dating someone. I’ve been even raising the question before “Santa, have I gone naughty for the past years? Why can’t I have a beau? Why Santa? Why?”   Isn’t it depressing? How desperate and needy I sounded?  But you know what? I did some things very enjoyable and fun even without anyone having the X and Y chromosomes “special edition” in my life. I tell you this; you don’t necessarily have to be in a relationship.

Well anyways, I am pretty sure that out of billions of people occupying mother earth, I believe that I am not the only person who got this problem. Have you ever been awake in the middle of the night and thought how unfortunate you are not to have a boyfriend while everyone has? Feeling left out with your friends who were no longer single. Very lonely on Valentine’s Day? Do you ever feel like the world is unfair that only attractive girls can have a boyfriend?Or girls with abs and are skinny have the 101% chance of being happy?  Have you fantasized you and your crush ending up together? But realized that you can never escape reality and the reality says you can never make your crush like you the way you wanted him to be? Is being single for life a manifestation of a normal person? Maybe not? Is this whole single thing a big deal? Partly yes!?  Questions like, “Is there something wrong with me? Am I that physically unbearable to be noticed or liked?”  It’s hard to pinpoint which is which of all the long list of possibilities of why until now you are an unyielding, hardcore member of the NBSB club.  Moreover, no matter how we convince ourselves that it is okay not to have a boyfriend, that there’s tons of fish in the water, that there’s more time, just be patient love will eventually knock on your door someday. But seriously when is “someday”?  Most often than not, we are an easy prey for telling the truth that we are not at all fine with being single for life. A chunk of you –are- not- pretty- unless- you’re- wanted thought would eventually choke you to depression.

These ideas would bubble up to the surface and would eventually swallow us whole. We feel insecure, we feel unloved. We feel unattractive. We feel inequity. The world is unfair. Blame it to the universe why until now, I don’t have a fucking boyfriend. Like Really. There are times that you feel so desperate, you would make the first move, and you would make the first flirt. And the hell you would care now because you can’t slip any sliver of chances. Oh come on woman! Get a pull of yourself we are already in the 21^st century! We can make the first move. But hey, don’t let that desperation ensnare you into anything less than what you deserve.

But you know, it’s okay to feel like this. This is us, being human; we have feelings, we get hurt. Whenever we feel not liked, we feel bad with ourselves and we feel being outcast and shut by the world. This is just normal I tell you. But look at the bright side, just because you are single, that doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. Never think that if you are single, it means nobody ever loves you. That is just a stupid kind of logical reasoning. How about your family, friends, classmates, even pets who look after you, who love you purely and unconditionally? The definition of love doesn’t ebb just for the reason that you are not dating someone. And not all forms of happiness mean that you have to be with your other half.

True it is, to love and to be loved is a magical and splendid feeling. I mean we’re adolescents our hormones are raging to the speed of light. Everything is exciting and adrenaline packed. Meeting loads of people is a head start. But don’t you think it would also be nice to be with people you enjoy being with aside from the guys you pour your heart into? How about Friends? They are God’s gift. Have an amazing pursuit of discovering nature with them. It’s nice to have an all night slumber party with your girls, ice cream and fries dates. Chocolate, doughnuts and pizza binge eating, joyride, beach getaways with them are so goals. Family? They’re irreplaceable; they accept you no matter who you are, or who you have become. Instead of tiring yourself in finding for your OTP (One True Partner), the ONE who could sweep you off your feet; why don’t you figure yourself out? Discover more about yourself. Work for the betterment of yourself and for yourself. Go to the gym, workout, be fit, wear nice clothes, put make-up, study harder, find decent job, look good and feel good not to impress anyone but do it, for yourself. It’s all what you’ve got at the end of the day. Find the pieces in yourselves together. It will all make sense one day.

And yes, don’t you worry; I am still a loyal club member of THE NBSB. And I don’t think I have to rush on finding my “the one” I am pretty sure he is just out there and I leave our destinies to the universe to work its magic. Don’t get so jelly with the girls who post very romantic and cheesy moments with their “loves”, “babies” “honeys” etc on facebook, instagram, twitter and snapchat. You’ll have that soon. Don’t settle for less, because you deserve the best! When the time is right, someone will love you, value you and respect you for exactly who you are- it will come. Finding love is a process, have faith. You just have to wait. don’t be paradox like me. Kidding! Life is indeed a box of chocolate. It is a surprise; you might not know what you’re getting. Just hold on and feel good about yourself. Don’t let other people’s approval take away your euphoric feeling of being just yourself. Love yourself. And discover more. I love myself. I am beautiful no matter what they say, same goes to the person reading this.

How to chase cats with a touch of classiness: Discovering the vagueness of what it takes to be the girl for your Mr. Dreamboy

Have you ever liked a guy who does not even know you exist? Technically, that is the whole idea of a crush. Crush is a noun. Usually one-sided, with a burning desire to be with someone who you find really attractive but is so beyond your reach. Liking someone is palpable from the get go feeling of giddiness and kilig running like a stream of blood from your head to toe. Have you bumped into someone you really don’t know but looks cute, handsome, and broody and at the same time has the Chris Evans charisma somewhere? Probably yes, a lot of times and I bet without second thoughts, you wanted to know that guy’s name and start to think that he is really your type; to the point that staring at him all day would cost you a gallon of drool. Well, speaking of type; I give you 10 juicy deets about the things guys like and don’t like about girls.

Obviously, you can just Google everything you need to know about guys. You can use your finesse on stalking and doing amazing stuffs online, researching for answers of course. But, these facts you need to know are being obtained from random guys thru a survey I personally conducted. And even so you had discovered something from the holy fountain of knowledge on the internet before, getting information that comes straight from a guy’s perspectives and opinions; that’s more of a trajectory. These fun facts are compiled highlighting Cebuano guys’ point of view on girls.  So, let us decipher on how to win a bloke’s heart.

How guys find girls attractive: Does it really pay to look good? Or is beauty beyond your skin cells?

I strongly believed in love at first sight. You know you like someone when he or she is physically eye-catching. You just can’t like someone who picks his or her nose in public. Gross! We know that our pupils dilate when we see someone or something pleasurable to look at.  It is important to know that guys always look at the physical appearance before anything else. That is undoubtedly their key characteristic which differ them from girls. Pray tell, it is their natural thing. Guys would always stick their pair of eyeballs to girls who are pretty, nice hair, immaculate skin, charming, sexy, and well-dressed and everything Kendall Jenner quality. But hey, don’t fret because actually, beauty for them is skin deep after all.

1. Personality is the bigger catch

Guys confessed that at first, you can’t expect them to like you with your personality alone- which they can’t see at the initial glance. Kindness for instance can’t be worn like an earring, Victoria’s Secret Limited Edition bikini, necklace or a ring. It doesn’t catch much attention at first. But as your friendship grows deeper, if the guy knows you for you, being you; guys would appreciate and like you much better with your inner beauty which is your personality. They spilled, that girls who are very outgoing, very caring and not “maarte” are the best girls to be with every time. When the both of you share a common interest, cha-ching!  Extra ganda points!

2. Smart is the contemporary classification of sexy

Well, maybe not all guys like geeky girls. But a percentage of 91% of guys agree that girls who are into academics are a real score for them. They like girls who are very independent, hardworking, self-sustained and dedicated on having a brighter future. Guys like to argue interesting topics with girls. May it be some political viewpoints or a flashback on the History of the Philippines or maybe some sneak peek on the French Revolution or anything sciencey like a cutting-edge scientific advancement on polyatomic particles or anything timely and relevant in the society. Girls, guys are naturally geeks I tell you.  For them, it makes sense when the both of you talk about sensible stuffs. It will be a big turn-on for guys when girls set priorities in order.  Whether you are a closet nerd, proud nerd or know-it-all nerd, don’t be ashamed because guys may like you if you’re pretty but they will love you when you’re brainy!

3.Celebrity is, celebrity does

Girls are naturally conscious on how they look. They would go straight to the gym when they feel those extra skins are starting to cover the whole portion of their body. Girls would go nuts when lumps of pimples begin to appear on their faces out of nowhere. Girls freak out when they ran out of clothes to wear. Well, that is just girls being girls. It is a biological calling for them to neat their selves out and look presentable as much as possible because girls don’t settle for anything that is an understatement. Girls rule!

Guys like it when girls prep and work for the betterment of their selves, but when the habit rises to the extremes, that would be a potential disaster. Guys would sort of dislike girls who are so vain and conscious to their physical appearances. They like it when girls are laid back but neat and not to the extent that you would probably be spending thousands of money just to get the Kylie Lip kit and work on those juicy buns. Guys like you when you are being true with yourself and when you are contented and loving with what you already have. Girls, you don’t have to try to get everything with the latest fads and trends just to fit in and be liked and adored by the people around you. Swear, it would be a tragedy to lose your own sense of self. And it would be terminally uncool to be swallowed by another version that is so not you.

4.Humor is the key

Aside from being an easygoing gal, a key to a man’s heart other than food, is the sense of humor. Being funny and carefree is a plus point to guys! When you genuinely laugh at their jokes and when you serve your own too, guys will absolutely fall for you. Also, they find a girl attractive when she admits her flaws and mistakes with open arms. Guys like fun girls but not the out of control type. A girl who laughs at her own imperfection is a real hint of beauty, the one who does not mind to belch out loud after having a good burger or steak. That could be a bit embarrassing but when you laugh it out, oh my God, your man will love you to bits. But remember, don’t be too obvious when you are trying to crack some joke, keep it cool. Don’t be so try-hard when you want to make them laugh. Popping jokes comes naturally; do not spoil the element of surprise. Never play the I am-being-dumb-stupid-game. That would be a tad of tacky.

5.Be the Amelia Earhart in the world full of Kylie Jenner

Amelia Earhart was known to be the first woman aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and her disappearance was a big mystery. People tried to find and decode her desertion for years but it remains an ambiguity until now. Girls you don’t have to flaunt and reveal everything you have with you to people. If you give out the things about you so straightforwardly, you are limiting the opportunity of guys to speculate more about you. And that would make you an easy prey.  Be a mystery. It makes you more interesting with a kick of sexiness when you show less about yourself. With that being said, the more people will wonder. On a guy’s perspective, they find it challenging and all the fun to discover more of you each day. Don’t expose everything. No need to broadcast your recent updates because everything is done step by step.

6.Gents like sugar-coated  presents too

Who doesn’t like chocolates, candies and everything sweet? Of course, these classifications of food enable us to taste a slice of heaven. No one can resist sweetness. A life without sweetness is a life not knowing fully what is bitter. Guys personally are suckers for sweetness. Girls who are sweet drive them crazy. If a girl shows a gesture of sweetness to a guy at any extent, then prepare for some sparks to fly.

7. Not all jellybeans are lovely

One main reason for a relationship to be challenged is all because of the third party department. Jealousy is a lousy act of being a person. Jealousy is never good though but still, we end up getting tangled at the pros and cons of being a jelly belly. It would be a minus point for girls to get so jealous easily. Although guys find being jealous cute for girls, well, jealousy leads to something distasteful. So, girls, it is okay to get jealous at some area but it is not advisable to create conclusions and assumptions in mind towards a guy without even knowing the truth. Just let things fall out into place. Remember, listen and observe before you take actions.

 

8.Give thy self a room for fastidiousness

Our bodies are the temple of our soul. So it is equally important for girls to give their selves some respect. Dressing properly would make guys appreciate girls more but remember to keep it casual and appropriate, not to the extent to which guys would see you in extremes- either too conservative or skimpy. Being the fastidious or “delikadesa” kind of damsel is a major turn on! Find your inner fashionista without the exposure of too much skin.

 

9. Fishing for compliments is not cool

It has been found out that guys don’t like it when girls keep on asking complimentary comments from them. Despite how bit whiny girls are, guys will be there to listen and they are good listeners so no need to fish out some flattering remarks. Leave it to guys, they are good at that, don’t give them signals yet, they would do it voluntarily, just don’t spoil their moment of glory.

10.Be yourself, no makeup needed

Lastly, come what may, just be yourself. If you wish for a guy to like you in a way you would like them to like you back, show them who you really are. Never be afraid to let loose of your confidence. Foundations, BB creams, concealers, and lippies are nothing to guys if you give out the best in you which is simply you. Those beauty products may conceal the worst of you physically but not your personality. Your heart and soul at its purest forms is what makes you a winner to a guy’s heart.  A girl is specifically attractive when she knows who she is and when she does things with kindness, love, sincerity and genuineness. Smile like you really mean it, it radiates what is inside you. At the end of the day, filters are nothing to people who see people right through the soul.